Switzerland: Silly cows and flowers in my hair

Switzerland. Magic. After 8 weeks of working and getting sick and losing walking ability TWICE I was pretty ready for a holiday.I had a heroic mission to Norway in the back of my mind but Norway is far and expensive (expensive because it is far and expensive because it is Norway). So I thought a little sojourn to Switzerland would be a fabulous expedition. It seems all very romantic, you know, hanging in the Alps, going hiking, yodeling and talking to the cows while all matter of cheeses flower from my fingers to my mouth. And little wooden houses and waterfalls and all things ideallyic. Well what’s funny about some postcard dreams is that sometimes they are real. Switzerland is what people think it is, well i don’t know about the whole country for I stayed in one small part of it but it was full of wooden houses with red and white flowers in flower boxes, green rolling mountains and cows in the fields. So many cows in the fields, well actually so many cows in the mountains and they are all given a heroic bell to wear around their neck so when one is hiking in the mountains, or sleeping in the mountains or just hanging around in general there is always a symphony of cow bells in the distance, sometimes a gentle ringing, sometimes a clanging mess. Proof that cows never sleep and only eat for the bells never stop ringing (Gotta keep those 4 stomachs full!- what a job!).

I know there MUST have been a farmer once who had a musical ear and gave all his cows a bell with a different note and devoted his life’s work to creating the most beautiful symphony with his cows, teaching them when to play and when to stop, they learned to eat their grass in a rhythm and the music manifested in the souls of the cows so their milk was the finest in all of Switzerland and when people drank it they could hear the singing in the hills. Well at least that is what I imagine happening, because up in those mountains with one farmer and his 12 cows there is a strange magic one can feel dancing down the hills...

Oh the delights of where I was! Apparently the weather had been weird this year in Switzerland and the summer had not been a proper summer (yes i know the world is exploding slowly, surely all over the place) but when i arrived it was just buckets of sun raining from the sky with an occasional dramatic thunderstorm. So we went hiking up to the glacier and had a picnic watching the cows (and one has no idea how they made it so high up there with you) and we bathed in a glacier lake which sounds romantic if not horrifically cold but invigorating and enlightening and alive-making! And then I was taken to a metal cart thing on top of another mountain (which we took a chairlift to) and this was basically a track and you sit in a cart and it’s like a rollercoster on top of the mountain, amazing views at a pretty silly speed and the cows gently give you a look that means “humans are like, so weird man..”

And then to get down the mountain it is only natural that you would get on a mountain scooter which is similar to one of those children’s scooters but it has mountain tires on it and you can ride down a mountain at a mad speed and really hurt yourself if you wanted to. Fantastic!

As for my friend Phil (from my education class who i was visiting) he procurred himself a job in Zurich and he left me saying “Here Mary, have a bed, some food and a bunch of friends and oh there’s mountains outside if you need one or two or 70” So saddened by his departure I was invited to go to the Palace pool which is a very fancy place but apparently the cost to lie next to a pool was 20 franks and im sorry but for R200 one can do a million more things than lie next to a pool for a day so i declined (feeling a little bit like a stingy weirdo) and walked into a guy who was playing guitar and we had a sing a long and he pulled out his slackline and while trying to walk along it he said “you want to come sleep on the mountain tonight?” and i said yes..

So a few hours later I was hiking up this mad steep mountain with a Canadian and Dutchman who were avid climbers and had been spending their summer literally ascending anything they could get their hands on. Needless to say i didn’t keep up to their pace for very long and i huffingly puffingly dragged myself up this steep mountain for a few hours as the sun descended and the moon rose, full, in all it’s glory. We crossed lakes and rocks and hills and the village decreased in view where people became ant sized and then faded into nothing like nothing else existed, just the mountain and us and the moon. And then we were on the top and there was a rock and they said “put on your climbing harness we are going to climb this rock” and i didn’t ask many questions, the moon was full, it was midnight, i was exhausted but ok with a bit of a climb.

Well this “little climb” was probably the most fearsome awesome insane thing i have done in my existence so far. It was all very well and a little scary and a little steep and then all of a sudden we were climbing up metal rungs up a cliff, up up up, it was just little me on a vertical rock attached somewhat precariously to a metal wire but no way would i say safely attachment because you had to detach yourself to attach yourself to the next pit hanging with one hand on a cliff (Attaching and detaching is always a bit of a tricky business) There were parts that it wasn’t simply a ladder but it was a rock grip that you had to find and a little jump and a stretch. My heart, my adrenaline. It took another hour, or more, of constant fear, the adrenaline pushed me to the top, the tears began to fall, i was so scared, i wanted to go home i wanted to go to bed, i wanted my parents and my friends and Llandudno beach and chocolate and all those good things, i didn’t want to fall down a rock, there were overhands and even though my muscles were dead my fear pushed me through for, once we had gone so far there was no turning back and only at the top would there be peace again. Biting back tears i climbed and climbed until. The top. The glorious top and the world. The moon lit up the entire world, it was mountain and mountain and valley and joy and beauty and cliffs that we had climbed up, we were on a piece of rock and the world was ours. What insanity, what joy, what an ecstatic victory.

Then there was a campfire on the top of the world, some good conversation, some chocolate and finally a sleeping bag and perhaps 3 hours of rest before the sun began to rise in the most magnifcient glory i have been a part of . The light lit up the sky in all manners of colours imaginable and i was so tired but i couldn’t stop staring at all the wonder around me, the gentle harshness of the morning, where i was, and how i had got there.

We hiked back the gentle back route (yes there WAS one of those) and walked our way down and exhausted i arrived back where i started and went to sleep for 6 hours. Holidays. What holy days.

And then i moved to a new set up, a man in a not-very swiss house by a river. And he told me stories about when he was a ski instructor in Aspen and he worked for rich people who would hire out a private bowl for the day so that they could have it for only them and they would take a snowcat up, him and maybe 6 other peopel and spend the day playing on fresh lines with no one to ruin it but them.

Oh that river was LOUD, it rushed and rushed and made such a noise and i spent something like 3 days sitting next to it, feeling like i was active because that river did all my activity for me. I found a guitar to play and lay on the grass, soaking in all the goodness that Switzerland could give me. Hitching around to places i wanted to go at night and lazily walking around rivers in the day with a ukelele and a sarong to sleep on.

And then it ended, as these things do and Italy and the call of money came. And Switzerland being the fantastically safe country it is (too safe i fear, i think that’s why people kill themselves all the time, life is just too easy) it seemed only to make sense to hitch over the border because in Italy trains are cheap and in Swizerland trains are insanely expensive and to get to Italy the old fashioned way I probably would have spent something like 100 euros. As it is, i spent none.

Oh it was beautiul and i did not get pictures becuase i think i was too focused on living itself than recording the living. Though now of course i wish i had. And only in Switzerland were the main people who gave me a lift women. In other countries you re lucky to get lifts by men and if it is a woman it is rare they will pick you. The first couple of lifts were French and we did lots of smiling and shrugging at each other and then there was a French man who convinced me that maybe i do want children one day. He was a pilot and was telling me all sorts of stories about when he went to Namibia to try tp get a job but met 2 English guys and Korean girl and soon he was road tripping Namibia and never found a job. And then i was waiting near the border of Italy and Switzerland and all these cars were rushing past me it was a terrible place to hitch because everyone was actually going to France (Verbier) and not Italy and this old old old woman stopped, the wrinkles on her face had wrinkles on them and she had crutches jammed on the front seat but she was stopping for me and yes she loved traveling and 50 years ago her and her husband took a boat to Australia because they thought they might move there but she didn’t like that the stones were too new, she missed the old stones, the old buildings in Europe, so she came home so she could feel the spirit of the old stones of Europe. I think i see what she means, i am not attached to the old walls of Europe because that was not what i have learned to appreciate in a country but if it had always been there perhaps i would miss the age around me.

And then just before St Bernard’s pass, the most magical mountains that take you to the very top and then they say ITALIA and then you spiral down into Italy winding winding winding through talls and shorts and hikers and rocks and. Well just then a women picked me up and I got in. And i fell asleep and i woke up in Turin, which is where she was going, made my way (sweatily, the heat away from the Alps i s monstrous) to a hostel, to an Australian girl who shared her wine and her supper and made my way driftily happily, gently to sleep.